Last night, I looked in the mirror and saw the healed wound from the port in my chest, and it confirmed my stint in the hospital 2 months ago…. Yes, I had doubted.
Today I read in John 20, when Thomas says “Unless I see the nail marks….” I found myself identifying with him, his doubts about the reality of recent experiences. (Though, unlike Thomas who had run away from the crisis, I had not had that opportunity; probably would have given the choice….)
And Jesus, in response encourages him (and me) to “stop doubting and believe.” Believe in my on-going healing; believe in the reality of Christ-among-us.
Yesterday, hiking up a path here in the Great Smoky Mts where we’ve taken a short vacation after attending the wedding of a dear friend in VA, I found myself quickly becoming breathless. The natural tendency is to feel anger at this “carcass” that won’t perform; I have to remind myself that the latest blood panel still showed low counts in all categories (not unusual) including hemoglobin, which shuttles oxygen from lungs to muscles and brain.
“My Lord and my God!” Thomas awe-fully asserts. And I, today, as I climb the side of the mountain toward Rainbow Falls surrounded by the glory of creation (while panting for breath), will join the prayers of the doubting Thomases throughout history: “My Lord and my God!” Amen.
